I don't know if everyone has read this article from today's edition of The Lempster Gazette, but I thought I would pass it along...
John McCain Announces Candidacy Again
Vows to Keep Announcing Candidacy Through Election
Senator John McCain (R-AZ) re-announced his campaign for the Presidency several additional times today at campaign stops throughout New Hampshire. On at least five occasions, the candidate re-enacted his initial announcement word-for-word as delivered in Portsmouth on Wednesday. Yesterday, at a high school in Salem, McCain chose to re-deliver his announcement from the 2000 presidential election, complete with out-of-date references to President Clinton.
"I just want to make sure those high school kids are on their toes," the Senator chuckled, referring to the speech originally given on September 29, 1999. While en route to an engagement in Concord, McCain took questions from reporters aboard his "Straight Talk Express" tour bus, stopping occasionally to shout his announcement speech at passersby through an open window while waiting at traffic lights.
"I'm going to keep announcing my candidacy through the race and even after my eventual elimination from the field. Not doing so would signal defeat," he went on to explain.
Asked whether it is disingenuous towards his audiences to repeatedly imply he is making a new announcement, the Senator replied, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, after each speech, I find a bathroom and deliver another speech calling a halt to my campaign. So each time it's new! If I can't find a bathroom, or if I don't have to go, I mumble the speech in my head. But I almost always have to go these days."
"The American people are yearning for a President who can lighten up," McCain noted. When questioned by a reporter whether this strategy might instead make him appear "insane," McCain twitched his right eye and threatened to kill the reporter with an IED. He then laughed and explained the comment was humorous.
Vowing to "mix things up a bit," the candidate does not always deliver the speech in the traditional fashion. During a conference at the Franklin Pierce Law Center on energy competition with China, the Senator interrupted his analysis of China-India trade pacts by imitating the sound of an old-fashioned telegraph and mimicking the voice of 1940's radio personality Walter Winchell.
Clasping a hand over one ear while pinching his nose, he broke into a staccato impression, "doooo-doot-doo-doot-doot-doo-doot... we interrupt this speech to bring you news that Senator John McCain has announced his bid for the Presidency! Details as they come in..." He interrupted his speech several more times and even included "radio" advertisements for Burma Shave and Bromo-Seltzer.
During a question and answer period later, perplexed conference attendees questioned whether the speaker really was John McCain or an impersonator. As one audience member stated afterwards, "it was just so god-dammed crazy, I couldn't concentrate on a word he said."
The Senator promises to deliver more unexpected behavior throughout the campaign. "That's the problem with campaigns nowadays, there is no one out there goofing on the squares. I'm going to change the tone, I am going to bring back the zaniness. Hey, you know Herman Munster's car? I'm going to be driving that next week!"
Aides later added that discussions between the Senator and staff about the Munstermobile were still very tentative and no decision had yet been made about the Senator's transportation options.